Relationships Self Sabotage As A Way Of Feeling Safe

Now although that may sound like a strange title it is more common than you think. Let me explain.Self sabotage is essentially when an individual engages an old conditioned habit or way of being that undermines their success, integrity, self esteem, self worth, self confidence, their happiness, their relationships, their health, their wealth, and so on.Although such behavior to any sane person would seem totally illogical (because it is) to the person who harbors it at an unconscious level there appears to be some sort of "logic" that is driving it.

This unconscious logic is just that "unconscious" and hence the person who is engaging the behavior that it supports cannot see it clearly. It is when it, the unconscious logic, is made conscious that the negative behavior vanishes spontaneously.Now back to the title.Self sabotage is a pattern that is seen in individuals who have experienced some form of emotionally traumatic experience in their early life. If not properly cleared the memory of this incident sets up in them a sense of vulnerability, fear and hyper vigilance around any event or situation that resembles it in some way.

For example suppose that you experienced a very bad relationship in the past. The negative emotional imprint of this relationship will still be inside you.Whenever you attempt to engage a new relationship you will be vulnerable to re-experiencing the old painful emotions again. The fear of doing so often leads one to unconsciously sabotage their current relationship so that they will avoid feeling the past trauma.

Hence the self sabotaging behavior is in an attempt to maintain a sense of internal emotional peace or harmony.What is interesting here is that the self sabotaging behavior appears to become engaged automatically and appears to be out of the person's control. It is what many might refer to a "bad habit" and habits are thought to be out of our conscious control.So the individual may actually feel "out of control" of themselves and may find themselves unhappy at the outcome.So I hope that you recognize that the unconscious choice to maintain a sense of control over the emerging old negative emotions from the past wrestles control away from the individual in the present as they attempt to make another go at a relationship.This is what some people might refer to as "living in the past" or I might refer to as "being enslaved by the past".

The only way to fully live in the present as a truly empowered and successful individual is to release these old painful negative emotions (what I have also termed "Emotional Landmines"; please see my article of the same name) once and for all.This can now be done quickly, easily and permanently over the telephone employing a new modality called the Mind Resonance Process(TM) (MRP). To arrange your introductory consultation please visit the web link below.

He is an Energy Psychiatrist, Healer, Key Note Speaker,Editor of a New Ezine Called "Spirituality And Science" (which is requesting high quality article submissions) Author of "Esteem for the Self: A Manual for Personal Transformation" (available in ebook format on his web site), Stress Management Coach, Peak Performance Coach & Energy Medicine Researcher, Specializes in Life and Executive Performance Coaching, is the Developer of a powerful new tool called the Mind Resonance Process(TM) that helps build physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well being by helping to permanently release negative beliefs, emotions, perceptions and memories. He holds live workshops, international telephone coaching sessions and international teleconference workshops on Physical. Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Well Being.Web site: http://www.

telecoaching4u.com/IntroConsult.htm.

By: Nick Arrizza, M.D.